Enough for me
by bonvieuxtemps
Summary: She never said relationships were one of her strong points, not at all; yet, she tries. Femslash, mainly Emily/JJ.


Enough for me (1/6)

Pairing: Emily/JJ, Emily/Other, JJ/LaMontagne

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Criminal Minds or any of its contents.

Author's note: The idea was for a one-shot, but the ideas kept coming (thanks to the creative flow in math classes) and it got too long, so I decided to break it down into a couple chapters. I finally got the time to type part of it from my notebook and, hopefully, I'll get some more soon. Hope you guys like it. Not beta-ed, so sorry for any possible mistakes.

-----------------

She walked through the silent apartment. She did it slowly, focusing on each breath she took. A technique she learnt to avoid the usual buzz of her active mind. She didn't plan to look somber; somehow the only light that illuminated her living room slash kitchen was the light that came through the large glass window, giving its baroque touch to the moment. There were few things she allowed herself that came directly from her family's money; that apartment was one of those. She needed her own semi-stable view. It wasn't the French mountains, so wasn't she a little girl.

She had a glass cup on her hand, and two others on the coffee table; all of them untouched by her mouth. The first one was a low round glass, filled with whisky five hours before. Johnny Walker. One of the first things she was taught as a young teenager, even though it took her years to comprehend fully, was that there was something behind every action; especially in social rituals. When you move from country to country you have to adapt quickly to the cultural ways, but if you want to hold to some habits, play safe. If you want vodka, have Russian. Whisky, scotch.

She filled it out of habit, per se. She was angry, upset, revolted… desperate. For years, the few times she came to that she drank until oblivion and woke with a headache to remember herself that she was alive. This time, she realized that it wouldn't solve that situation before she got a taste. She sat on the couch, staring angrily at the cup, as if it was its fault, and maybe it was; because it was part of how it started: a bad case, a bottle of whisky, a bad break-up and two blue-eyed blonds.

_The bottle of Johnny stared back at her across the balcony. She couldn't see it very well but it looked like it was almost empty. Hadn't it been full when she first sat there, she kept wondering. It did seem like an important question at the moment. That was only until she saw the familiar blond shade from the corner of her eyes. It got her attention in a nanosecond, whisky bottle forgotten._

_She walked through the bar smoothly; no amount of alcohol would take the years of practice away. She didn't trust her voice that much though, but when she looked into those blue eyes she knew that wouldn't be a problem. One look replaced most sweet talk that it was usually necessary. She'd feel bad for going for a younger woman like that, but not at that moment; certainly not as they kissed hungrily against her apartment's door, nor as she screamed against the bed post._

_She did feel bad for not asking her name, it might have prevented her from calling out another blue-eyed blonde's name when she came. She didn't think it would have, though. It definitely would have helped knowing her name in the morning after, when all hell broke loose. Not because of her, because she was a sweet, understanding young woman, and even with the worst of the headaches Emily Prentiss could still be a gentlewoman._

_All hell broke loose because of the other blue-eyed blond, who chose the worst moment to make use of her keys to the apartment. Emily was putting the two plates on the counter when the blond made herself noticed. The brunette stared blankly, holding her tongue. There were too many things she wished to say in that morning; none should be said._

_"Hey…I-I'm sorry…I-I thought y-you'd be asleep" Jennifer Jareau stuttered. Jennifer Jareau actually stuttered. That got the brunette's attention, because from what she could recall not even when "asking for some space" the blond tripped over her words._

_"It doesn't suit you" Emily had no intentions of sounding harsh, it meant simply as an observation. She then faced with the blonde's confused look, "Nervousness. It doesn't suit you"_

_"Kinda looks bad for a press liaison, huh?" She tried to lighten the mood, but it fell on deaf ears._

_"What is it you want, JJ?" There was no need to make that talk longer than necessary. She had been through enough of those before, and it was getting tiring._

_"I just… You seemed pretty shaken last night. I wanted to see if you were alright" The blonde was obviously surprised; whatever she expected, Emily being so blunt wasn't it._

_It took every ounce of control and calming breaths the brunette could muster not to snap. Everything inside her wanted to point out to the blond that if she had been so worried she would have come the night before; not the morning after. She chose not to mention it; whatever come back she threw would only lead to more arguments. She just wanted the blond to leave. The longer she stayed the bigger the chance of cracking the brunette's walls, again._

_"I'm doing…" Her words were interrupted by the sound of someone coming down the stairs. JJ turned around so quickly Emily had no doubt her neck would be sore later. The brunette could only imagine what was going through the press liaison's head when she saw the younger blond coming down the stairs; her hair loosely on a ponytail, buttoning up one of Emily's shirts._

_"Sorry I had to borrow your…" The woman was so focused on the buttons that she only saw what was going on when she was half-way down the stairs. She stopped all her movements, looking, for a moment, like a dear in the headlights. She regained herself once she saw the brunette's calm look. It seemed like it was the only thing that stopped her from panicking; under what Emily could bet was a murderous stare from the other FBI agent._

_"Could you give us a moment?" Emily's voice was smooth; and left no room for arguments. She even smiled reassuringly at the girl; there was no way things could get worse anyway. JJ waited until she was out of sight before directing her fury at the brunette._

_"Who is that?" JJ growled, trying to stay calm; or as calm as she could, which wasn't much._

_Of all the questions JJ could have chosen to start, that one was in the top 5 of Emily's dreaded list; Couldn't she have started with an easier one, the brunette thought._

_"That's…none of your business" Emily stated._

_"I think, at least, I have the right to know who the whore you chose to take my place is" The blond hissed, her calm quickly slipping away._

_"First of all, don't call her that. You have…"_

_"As long as you don't tell me her name, I'll call her whatever the fuck…" The blond interrupted, pissing off the older woman._

_"Jennifer, shut up!" Emily shouted in a brief moment of frustration and shocked the blond into silence. They had many arguments before, but they mostly consisted of JJ throwing off her anger and Emily waiting quietly until the blond got tired and apologized or left, then came back later and apologized. Whenever she replied it was with calm and care, never anger. "If you want to have a conversation you're gonna have to let me talk, or you might as well leave"_

_JJ could only nod, still dumbstruck._

_"As I was saying…You have no right to say that. She didn't take your place, because there's no such thing. You broke up with me, so that makes…"_

_"I didn't break up with you!" The blond shouted, then continued on a softer tone "All I did was ask for some space"_

_The brunette sighed, frustrated of having once again been interrupted by JJ. "Where I'm from, asking for some space combined with clear avoidance for over a month equals break up."She scratched her forehead before adding as an afterthought, "No matter what you choose to call"_

_"Emily…I…" JJ tried to find the words, but Emily beat her to it._

_"Should leave."_

_JJ's eyes seemed glued on the view outside the large windows. She looked angry, hurt, and then ashamed. She had put herself in that situation after all._

_"There's a case in Miami. We're heading out today." She opened her mouth and closed a couple times before choosing to just say "I'll see you at work"_

_She watched as the blond walked out of the apartment, closing the door quietly. The brunette bit her lip, passing her hand through her head, trying to stop the regret that overwhelmed her. She took one last deep breath, got the two plates filled with breakfast and walked upstairs, to the bedroom where the younger blond stood by the window._

_"Sarah" She said, still looking through the window._

_"What?" Emily asked out of reflex._

_"My name is Sarah." She turned, with a knowing smile on her face._

_Emily chuckled and sat on the bed, putting the plates beside her. "Nice meeting you, Sarah. I'm Emily, by the way"_

_"That went well" Sarah joked, lying against the bedpost and starting to eat breakfast. Emily looked at her, ready to snap, but saw the other woman was only trying to light up the mood a bit, so she followed suit and started eating._

_"If you call fucking things up royally "going well", then that's exactly it." The brunette groaned "Not like there was anything to fuck up anyway. That story is long over"_

_"Sure" The blond couldn't have sounded move disbelievingly "That's why you're regretting every word and planning how you'll apologize next time you see her?"_

_"Please tell me I didn't sleep with a psychologist!" Emily said jokingly, trying to change the subject and hide her surprised reaction at the woman's honesty and accuracy._

_The blond only chuckled and kept eating._


End file.
